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You don’t know what happiness is.

It seems to be elusive. Whenever you think, “if I only had X, then I’d be happy” and you finally get it, the happiness you feel is fleeting if it comes at all. And joy, what’s that? Life is supposed to be hard and you’re so busy that there’s no room for joy.

You have accepted your place as last on the list of importance in you life.

You seem to matter less than everyone else. You spend your time attempting to make everyone else happy and forget your own happiness.

You cannot say “no” to any request.

You don’t know how to stand up for yourself and you hate the idea of confrontation. You cannot stand to not be liked so you go out of your way for people to like you. You are a good girl or boy and do as you are told. This isn’t always happy, you don’t feel like people really respect you, but it’s a huge boost for your self-esteem when you can do something for someone else, even if you don’t have the time and would rather be doing something else.

You avoid things that need to be said or done.

Either you deny the unhappiness in your life or you know it’s there but refuse to address it. There is an elephant in the living room and you just keep walking around it hoping no one notices. If you think it’s easier to live blind to what is, know that there is a great cost to you. You pay a high price for living in denial with lost sleep, high stress, and unhappiness, as well as lost opportunities where you could be spending time doing things that bring you joy. The time of your life is slipping by and it takes so much effort to ignore the elephant. It’s draining your life force.

Someone else is to blame for your unhappiness.

It’s not your fault. It was your parents, or the economy, or your boss, partner. You refuse to accept responsibility for your life and, in so doing, you give your power to some entity outside yourself to control how you feel inside. Being a victim keeps you powerless.

You’re too busy to stop and consider if you are enjoying yourself.

If you stay busy, you don’t need to think about how unhappy you are or how quickly the time of your life is passing you by. You enjoy the rat race and so, you just keep running.

Are you afraid?

Afraid of success, afraid of what others think, afraid of your own greatness, afraid of the power you have to create your own happiness, afraid to feel that good! You are afraid of the unknown. You know how to manage the chaos and struggle; it is so familiar to you after all. Happiness, abundance, and effortlessness are new to you and that’s scary.

If you are not comfortable with feeling good, then you will avoid it. Unless you are consciously seeking a new experience, as a creature of habit, you will automatically do things the way you’ve always done them and you will want to feel the way that is most familiar and known to you, even if it doesn’t feel good.

Give yourself permission to be happy and to feel good.

That is the first step to change. Give yourself permission to go after what feels good for you.

Do an audit and assess where you are right now.

Be rigorously honest with yourself because awareness is the power you need to make a difference. Happiness is created by eliminating the things that get in the way, as much as doing what you love.  Often what needs to be eliminated is the mind manure, or the junk that goes on in our heads. Happiness is really an inside job. Happiness comes with an untroubled inner world. Learn to align your mind and success will come easier and will be sustainable.

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