Perfectionism is coupled with negative thought patterns. Sure, it’s good to expect yourself to do your best, but perfection is an impossible achievement.
Perfection prevents you from learning that is why perfection doesn’t really exist.
Being Perfect is Imperfect
- Understand the difference between “the best you can do” and “perfection”
- Praise yourself for accomplishments every day, no matter how small it is
Going through life as a perfectionist will always damage your self-esteem and strip you of any feelings of self- acceptance you may have for yourself. That’s because the impossibly high demands you make of yourself–and the unrealistic expectations you place on others–will invite only disappointment, and unhappiness.
Living your life as a perfectionist will also set you up for continuous rejection and self-put-downs–and deny you peace of mind–because demanding perfection usually results in failure.
Even if you achieve an exceptional result, chances are that you’ll still be unhappy, as you’ll find additional reasons for not being good enough. That’s the destructive nature of perfectionism and that’s why it destroys self-esteem. Nothing is ever good enough.
Preventing perfectionism begins by saying no to unreasonably high demands that produce only failure and self-contempt. The new way of thinking requires you to choose goals that are achievable and are within the realm of your possibilities.
Let go of expectations—and focus on intention. Stop focusing on faults and flaws—focus on what you are actually achieving.
When you don’t believe that you are of great value as a human being, you will look for your value elsewhere. This is reflected in your self-esteem as it attempts to overcompensate for feelings of “not good enough” or “less than”. The Self has to have value, you see. So if you are not giving it to yourself, you will go elsewhere to find it.
The problem with this plan of action is that you are always searching and never quite receiving what you need in order to feel good about yourself. You are dependent upon others to value you appropriately in hopes of getting what you’ve always been able (and can only) give to yourself.
You might look for value in your work, your accomplishments, your possessions, or your relationships. You might focus on impressing others with the right clothes or car or lifestyle or the right spouse. In your quest to find your value, you might accomplish great things but that feeling of completeness continues to elude you, or you experience only short-lived satisfaction.
You might look for value in your ideas and opinions often finding yourself defensive, in battle with others to defend your ideas and to defend your Self. Defensiveness is a clear sign that your self-worth is tied to your ideas. All of these little games you play leave you vulnerable because when you look for value from outside, you give up control and your power. Your power lies in choosing healthy thoughts and actions. Your power lies in valuing yourself and enjoying the incredible human being you are.
We often have completely unrealistic expectations for perfection and we are burdened by the guilt that follows as a result of never meeting those impossible expectations. So much time is wasted and we miss out on so much joy from the self-deprecating and negative inner dialogue. Stop looking for value in all the wrong places and start embracing your innate, natural value.
Each of us has a responsibility to develop our own self-esteem, to grow and mature so we feel good about ourselves and spend less time in self-doubt. A good, healthy self-esteem represents the appropriate respect and value for yourself and your role as a human being. You can never and will never find what you are looking for outside of yourself and your thoughts.
Start enjoying and embracing being a human being with all of your amazing qualities, strengths, creativity, your body and intellect – Let go of the need to be perfect and enjoy being your best self!